


Navigating by Heart

by faithfulpenelope



Series: The Wait is the Hardest Part [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:46:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithfulpenelope/pseuds/faithfulpenelope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's week apart that pushes Pavel to take the next step forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The cabin is dark, quiet, and times like this it's easy to believe the entire ship is asleep, that they're actually on Earth, where there's a day and a night and not just the endless darkness of space. Pavel shifts just enough to see the clock, which shines _0604_ in blue numbers. Two hours before shift, then.

Sulu sleeps steadily, his quiet breath warm on Pavel's neck, his front pressed up against Chekov's back down to their intertwined feet. He can feel Hikaru's half-hard erection against his backside, feels his own body responding in return. He knows he should let Sulu sleep but he can't keep himself from squirming back against Hikaru, feeling his cock slide against his lower back.

Sulu's still asleep but he makes a small noise, pushes his hips forward in response, and Chekov presses back to meet him. The hand on Chekov's stomach flexes and brushes his sensitive hip and Pavel bites his lips against the giggle that threatens to come out. He strokes Hikaru's hand instead, wanting him to wake up, but on his own.

"Pasha?" Chekov grins in victory at Sulu's sleep-heavy voice. "Is it time to get – _oh_." Sulu's question drops off into gasp as Chekov pushes Sulu's hand down, wraps it around Pavel's erection, and thrusts, his hips moving between Sulu's body and his hand. " _Fuck,_ Pasha."

Chekov hums in agreement. Sulu's awake now, pushing up his elbow so he can thrust harder against Chekov. Pavel presses his cheek into the pillow and moans at the feeling of Sulu's cock sliding against his cleft, cries out when Hikaru pushes up his top leg and presses even closer.

"Is this – you're okay?" Sulu manages to say, because even now, half stupid with lust, he knows it's the first time they've done this. Chekov nods frantically, pulls Sulu's head down so he can kiss him.

"Please, Hikaru," he whimpers, and Sulu drops his head against his neck, mouths along the back of his shoulder blade. He feels Sulu's whole weight pressing him down towards the bed. "You feel – _oh_ – you feel so good." He reaches down, pulls his cheek out, and Hikaru's cock slips deeper, the tip of it skidding across his exposed hole. Sulu lets out a bone-deep groan and snaps his hips harder once, twice, before he comes all over Pavel's ass and thighs. His hand tightens involuntarily around Pavel and he gasps and comes himself.

For a few moments it’s quiet, save their harsh breathing, then Sulu presses his forehead to Chekov’s shoulder and rasps, “good morning to me,” in a dazed voice. Then he lifts up, grabs Chekov’s face, pulls him in for a possessive kiss.

“Good morning indeed,” Chekov whispers against his lips, and when he opens his eyes Hikaru’s gazing at him with a curious look in his eye. Pavel thinks he knows what’s put it there, knows Hikaru is wondering if he can ask what he wants to know, but it’s too early and too dark to start a discussion about sex. He knows it isn’t fair but he just smiles innocently instead, as he doesn’t know any better, and pulls into a full body stretch, arms up over his head, legs tense down to his curled toes. Hikaru responds just as Pavel thought he would, the curious look disappearing, forced out by the view of the long plains of Chekov’s body.

Sulu runs a hand over Chekov’s exposed flank and Pavel twitches, tries to bring his arms down to protect the ticklish spot, but freezes when Hikaru makes a soft tsk noise and shoves his arms back down. He settles between Chekov’s legs, ghosts kisses over his firm stomach as his hands roam over Pavel’s pale torso and shoulders. Chekov melts away underneath him, his eyes drifting shut as he breathes out a soft, contented sigh, and Sulu doesn’t correct him when one hand comes down to gently pet his dark hair, just lays his cheek down against Pavel’s bare stomach and breathes easy. They fall back asleep that way, Chekov stretched out, Sulu curled up towards the bottom of the bed, until the computer gives its warning that it’s time to rise.


	2. Chapter 2

They’re most of the way through their shift when Uhura announces an incoming transmission from Starfleet HQ. Kirk disappears into his ready room, and sometime later, Spock appears at Sulu’s side.

“The captain has requested our presence in his ready room,” he states, and Sulu gives Chekov a quick surprising glance before following.

“Gentlemen, sit,” Kirk says, tipping back in his chair, and Sulu thinks, as he always does, that Kirk behind an office desk looks plain wrong. “You’ve both heard of Admiral Brian Carter?”

Sulu hasn’t, but Spock of course has. “He is an esteemed member of the Federation’s diplomatic corps,” the first officer says. “It is my understanding he has most recently been in negotiations with the Andialians.” That name doesn’t ring a bell either, and Sulu starts to worry he should be brushing up on his Starfleet hierarchies.

“He still is,” Kirk says. “It’s been going on for some time, hampered by the fact that the Andialians are extraordinarily xenophobic and will only speak with him. In fact, he and his long-time pilot, Commander Jorge Fernandez, are the only humans allowed on the planet. The problem being, Commander Fernandez just died in a training accident.”

Sulu’s starting to put together why he’s there. “He can’t navigate there himself?” he asks.

“Andialia is surrounded by a heavy asteroid belt,” Spock explains. “It forms a natural defense around the planet and requires the skills of an expert pilot to navigate.”

“Which is where you come in,” Kirk says. “We’re picking up Carter in a few days. You’ll get him down there and back.”

“And the negotiations?” Sulu asks.

“You won’t be a part of them. You’re just the driver on this one.”

Sulu feels more than a little relief at that. “And how long will this mission be?” He tries for casual but Kirk still smirks, the bastard.

“Just a week, Lieutenant,” he says, a knowing glimmer in his eye. “Then we’ll get you back to your rightful place.”

“Yes, sir.” _A week_. He can deal with a week away from Pavel; he isn’t that far gone. “Should we start on the charts?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It’s late when Sulu finally gets back to his room, but there's a plate of food in the warmer. He's at his desk eating when Pavel shuffles out of the bedroom. "I didn't mean to wake you," Sulu apologizes, but Chekov just waves him off and leans in for a kiss.

"I was waiting for you," the younger man says, and pulls the extra chair close so he can huddle up to Sulu's side. He's in his underwear, wrapped in one of the old blankets some great-aunt had knit him before he was born. "So, what can you tell me?"

"I'll be flying for some diplomat admiral," Sulu explains. "His long-time pilot just died and he's in the middle of some top-secret negotiations with the extremely xenophobic world. He's like, the only human allowed on the planet, but it's surrounded by this insane asteroid belt – that’s where I’ve been, studying the charts in stellar cartography – so I basically get to fly him through it, wait around for a week, then fly him back."

"A week?" Chekov frowns. "No, unacceptable. Tell him to make his own way through."

Sulu laughs. "I know. I'm not thrilled about it either. But we'll be fine, right?" He kisses Chekov again, stands to throw his plate in the recycler.

"Of course we will be fine," Chekov's voice follows him across the room. "It does not mean I will be happy about it."

"Ah, Pasha." He wraps his arms around Chekov, walks him back to their bed. Pavel sheds the blanket and sits back on the unmade bed, watches Hikaru undress. "Just think of the catching up we'll do when we get back."

Chekov hums distractedly in response. Licks his lips as Sulu shimmies out of his pants.

"Pavel," Hikaru warns. "No. Sleep. You have a double-shift tomorrow and it's already late."

Chekov looks up at him, wide eyes soaked with innocence. "I am just sitting here," he says, all sweetness and light, and Sulu scowls, because he knows exactly what Chekov is doing. Worse yet, Chekov knows what he is doing. He slides up to lie down on the pillows, lets his legs fall open. "Waiting for you to come to bed."

" _Pavel_." It's a growl now.

Chekov just runs a hand over his belly, crooks a finger in a _come hither_ motion. "Come to bed, Hikaru," he whispers.

Well, goddamn it.

Sulu gives up the fight.


	3. Chapter 3

The admiral is a stickler for protocol, so instead of just Kirk and Spock meeting him, the entire senior staff drags themselves off shift to meet him in the shuttle bay. Sulu and Chekov slide in at the end of the line, and Chekov nudges Sulu, nods to the empty space in between Scotty and Uhura. At the other end of the line, Kirk heaves a sigh and comms down to the Medbay.

"He's on his way," Chapel responds. "He just got out of surgery."

"Tell me he put a clean uniform on," Kirk groans, and there's a quiet shuffling as Chapel tries to suppress her laugh.

"He tried to leave in his scrubs, but I made him change."

"You're a goddess among women, Christine," Kirk tells her as the doors swish open and McCoy steps into the bay, face fixed in a permanent scowl. He steps in line next to Chekov and folds his arms across his chest.

"Rank order, Doctor," Spock says.

McCoy's head turns impossibly slowly to glare, his jaw working under the skin. Chekov moves slightly closer to Sulu.

"Bones," Kirk warns.

McCoy turns his glare to the captain but complies, coming to stand next to Scotty.

"I must confess, I continue to find your dislike of acknowledging your rank quite confusing," Spock says, and the sentence is barely out before the entire line is groaning.

"I am simply asking -"

"Because I'm a doctor, damn it, not a lieutenant commander! I don't understand why they can't just leave us out of it all!" They're all heard the rant before, and Uhura rolls her eyes at Sulu, who looks down to hide his smirk. "We're not supposed to be involved in the ladder-climbing and the politics and all that crap -"

"All right, all right, you're made your point," Kirk interrupts. "Damn it, Spock, why do you have to get him started?"

"I can assure you, Captain, it was not my intention to 'get him started'."

"Oh, that's a giant load of -"

" _Bones._ "

McCoy huffs, shuts his mouth. Kirk looks pointedly at his folded arms. McCoy closes his eyes and breathes deep, as if searching for his quiet place, and drops his arms to his sides.

"Thank you," Kirk says.

McCoy grits his teeth, telegraphs a look that clearly says go suck a lemon.

The computer announces the shuttle's immediate arrival and they snap to attention, even McCoy. The shuttle lands smoothly and when Admiral Carter steps out, Kirk fires off a sharp salute.

"Admiral, welcome about the Enterprise."

"Captain," Carter says.

Kirk runs down the line of introductions, and when he's finished, Carter comes back to Sulu, looks him up and down. "So you're to be my pilot," he says, the condescension evident in his voice.

Sulu stands a little stiffer; he’s heard rumors that Carter was a little abrasive for a diplomat but seriously? "Yes, sir," he says neutrally.

“You’ve seen the charts?” Carter challenges. “You’re sure you can handle this?”

Sulu doesn't flinch. "I look forward to it, sir," he says, but Carter just narrows his eyes and turns back to Kirk.

"I flew with Commander Fernandez for twenty-five years. I’m not looking forward the breaking in a new pilot," he says to Kirk, and Sulu has to clench his jaw at that.

"I’m sure Lieutenant Sulu will meet all your expectations,” Kirk answers, a hard edge to his voice in defense of his helmsman. “Now, if you’re ready, we can start the briefing.”

The admiral huffs, gestures for Kirk to lead the way, Sulu and Spock following, leaving the rest of the senior staff behind. The doors swish shut behind them.

" _Mudak_ ," Chekov mutters darkly. McCoy and Uhura hum their agreeance. Scotty looks slightly confusion but figures he probably agrees, and nods.

"Poor Hikaru," Uhura says. "Stuck in a shuttle alone with that for a week."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sulu finds a turkey sandwich on his desk and Chekov on his bed, focused on the latest updates to the navigation system.

"Hey," Sulu says around the bread. "Thanks for dinner."

"I figured the admiral wasn't going to feed you," Chekov says, pretending to grossed out as Sulu smacks a wet kiss on his cheek, lips greasy with mayonnaise. "Didn't want you to go to bed hungry."

"You just want to make sure I keep my strength up," Sulu retorts, wiggling his eyebrows obscenely, and Chekov laughs.

"You found me out, Hikaru. My only purpose in life is to keep you well enough to have sex with me."

"I'm okay with that," Sulu says, and takes another bite. He sits on the edge of the bed, tries to take off his boots one-handed. Chekov tsks and pushes his hand away, pulls them off himself.

"How was the briefing?" he asks, dragging Sulu's socks off and tossing them towards the laundry chute.

"Fine." Sulu raises one arm obediently so Chekov can pull it out of his sleeves, then transfers his sandwich and raises the other. His voice is muffled as the shirt comes over his head and Chekov loses the beginning of his sentence. " – is the hard part. Then I have to wait for him to deliver the payload and finished the treaty and it's back through."

"And he's sure the planet is not dangerous?" It's a silly question, everything they do is dangerous, and Sulu is more than capable of taking care of himself, but he is leaving tomorrow and Chekov needs the reassurance. He pushes Sulu on his back, coaxes his hips up so he can drag down his uniform pants and briefs, then strips off his own clothes.

"He assures us it's not. Supposedly the government there loves him. I guess they're into condescending types." He finishes the rest of his sandwich, wipes his hands on his discarded uniform top, and pulls Chekov up to lay next to him. "Kirk kept trying to get him to reveal what the payload is. He thought he was being so subtle."

Chekov snorts. "The captain has many talents. Subtlety is not one of them." Sulu trails his fingertips down Chekov's bare back and he sighs at the soft touch. " _Mmm_ , Hikaru. Tomorrow morning you will be gone. What will I do for a week without you?"

Sulu groans, shifts around so he is on top of Chekov, pressing his front into the bed. "I have no fucking idea," he murmurs as he mouths wet kisses along Pavel's spine. Chekov arches his back, desperate to keep contact, and Sulu complies, sliding his body up so he can lick at Chekov's ear. Hikaru's hands tickle as he runs them up Pavel's arms and link their fingers together, and Chekov gasps as the feeling of being pinned down to the bed. Sulu grins, brings his legs inside Chekov's so he can force them apart, and thrusts.

"Oh," Chekov cries out, his hips jerking back to meet Sulu's thrusts. " _Bozhe moy._ "

"Do you like that?" Hikaru whispers, his voice wicked in Chekov's ear. Chekov nods his head frantically, his fingers curling almost painfully around Hikaru's. "No, no, Pasha." Sulu slows his movements to an unhurried drag, and Chekov whines his displeasure. "Words, Pasha. I want to hear it."

"Yes," Chekov gasps out. "Yes, _please,_ Hikaru, I love it, you feel so good," and Sulu rewards his honesty with a quicker rhythm, harder thrusts. He releases one hand, pulls one hip up just enough so he can snake down and grab Pavel's cock, stroke in time with his hips, and Chekov shouts, grabs for Sulu's neck so he can pull him down into a kiss. "Hikaru," he pants, "Hikaru, when you – _oh_ – when you come back from your mission –" He loses his train of thought as Sulu drags his teeth down his neck, sucks a deep mark into his pulse point.

"You were saying," Sulu teases mercilessly, licking the red spot he's created. "When I come back from my mission…"

Chekov twists his back, grabs the back of Sulu's head to keep him steady, and brings his lips to his ear. "I want you to fuck me," he breathes, and Hikaru's entire universe explodes.

He's vaguely aware of Pavel coming all over his hand but he's so shell-shocked by his own orgasm that he can't do anything but lay there, gasping for air. He feels more than sees a presence next to him and he has to consciously force his eyes to focus on Chekov's satisfied face.

"You -" His tongue trips over the words. "You cannot say shit like that. Holy shit, Pasha. I think my heart stopped."

"So…" Chekov cocks his head. "You do not want to fuck me?"

That jars Sulu's body back in motion and he tackles Chekov onto his back. "Pavel, there is not a single situation, a single time, a single universe where I do not want to fuck you," he growls, and grins when Chekov's smarmy smirk gives way to a breathy oh. "Oh, _God_." He drops his head down to Pavel's chest, feels Pavel's fingers come up and pet through his hair. "Now this is all I'm going to be able to think about this whole mission. If I fly into an asteroid, it'll be your fault, damn it."

"Ah, I prefer to see it as good motivation to get back here in one piece," Chekov counters, the smirk returning.

"The best," Sulu agrees. He collapses down, his ear on Pavel's heartbeat, and closes his eyes. Yelps when Chekov swats his bare ass.

"Nice try, Hikaru. Shower, then change the sheets. I am not sleeping on the wet spot again."

"That was one time," Sulu complains, but he drags himself up anyway.

"I woke up stuck to the bed!"

Hikaru snickers, and gets another swat for his troubles. "Hey! Keep doing that and I might think you want me to misbehave."

Chekov grins. "Fuck me first. Then we can talk about spanking."

 _"Pavel!_ "


	4. Chapter 4

He leaves Pavel in bed the next morning, promises him he will be back soon, kisses him as if his life depended on it. Chekov curls up tight in his arms, as if challenging Sulu to leave him behind.

“One week,” Sulu says softly into his curls. “I’ll be back in one week.”

“ _Da_.” Chekov unlocks his arms and legs and Sulu immediately misses the pressure. “One week. I will see you then.” He kisses Sulu. “Be safe, _miliy moy._ I love you.”

“I love you,” he breathes back, allows himself one last kiss.

Then he bucks up and reports to the shuttle bay.

Admiral Carter is already there, along with Kirk, and they settle their business as Sulu stows his duffle in the small sleeping cabin. "You're in good hands, Admiral," Kirk is saying as Sulu emerges. "If anyone can get you through, it's him."

"I certainly hope so," Carter says sourly, and Sulu rolls his eyes behind the admiral's back. "Captain, we will contact you when we have reached the planet. Lieutenant, we leave in five."

"Yes, sir," Sulu says, makes sure Carter has moved into the front cabin before turning to Kirk. "If I leave him there, you'll vouch for me before the tribunal, right?"

"They'll probably congratulate you."

"Listen -" He feels stupid asking, knows it's not necessary, but he's doing it anyway. "Could you -"

"I'll keep an eye on him," Kirk says, and Sulu gives him a thankful nod. Kirk sticks out a hand. "God speed, Lieutenant. See you in a week."

"See you in a week," Sulu echoes, and steps onto the shuttle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eight long hours later, they're landing on the planet's surface.

Carter hadn't been exaggerating; it was the hardest field Sulu had even navigated, made all the more difficult by the fact that he had never flow with Carter before. Carter was all stiffness and formality, the opposite of the give-and-take relationships he'd formed with the Enterprise's navigators, especially Chekov. They'd taken one hard hit but Sulu had recovered quickly and now, on the surface, Carter was looking at him with slightly more respect.

"You did well," he says, then quickly adds, "for your first time." He then picks apart every moment of Sulu's flying. Sulu bites back an annoyed response and just sends out the coded beacon to let the Enterprise know they've arrived safely.

"You'll be staying here on the shuttle while I'm in negotiations,” Carter announces, and Sulu wonders if he ever talks to anyone, instead of at them. “You will not be able to leave. The Andialians barely accepted Commander Hernandez's presence, and that was after years of working with them. They've only accepted your presence anywhere on their world because they know one off-worlder could not navigate the field on his own."

"Understood, sir." He had been advised of this ahead of time, and had crammed his PADD full of books, games, holovids, anything he could think of to pass the time.

"I will message you daily to confirm conditions have not changed. Should all proceed normally, I will return to the shuttle in five days. I'll expect it to be ready for take-off."

 _Like I'm going to throw a raging kegger while you’re gone?_ "Yes, sir."

"I'll spend tonight on the shuttle." Sulu quickly does some mental math; with one cot in the sleeping cabin, he'll be relegated to the floor of the main cabin. _I don't suppose there are any pillows in with the emergency blankets._

"Understood, sir. If I could just retrieve my bag." Carter waves him towards the bunk and Sulu swings in, grabs his duffle from the overhead compartment.

"I will be up at 5 a.m.," Carter tells him.

"Yes, sir. Good night, sir." Carter nods to him and the door to the sleeping cabin slides shut. Sulu lets out a sigh, and slides down to the floor. He pulls off his boots, considers leaving his uniform on – it just seems wrong to be in pajamas near an admiral – but it feels stiff with sweat and he sets his alarm early instead, so he'll be dressed when the admiral emerges. Then he unzips his duffle to pull out his sweats.

Sitting on top is a folded paper. It says _Hikaru_ on the front in Pavel's handwriting, and Sulu grins.

Pavel's handwriting is beautifully old-fashioned, especially for someone who deals in equations and formulas, a skill Pavel credits to a particularly hard-nosed grade school teacher. The sight of it on a real piece of paper – Pavel knows Hikaru has a penchant for real paper, loves the feel of it in his hands – makes his stomach flutter a little.

_Zvezda moy (which I know you will remember from our lessons means 'my star', because you are the star by which my heart navigates),_

_I hope your trip was not too difficult – I know you will be fine, you are the best pilot Starfleet has, but I have a difficult time trusting you to any other navigator. At least with the rest of our crew, I know them, know their strengths and weaknesses. I know nothing of Admiral Carter, other than that he treats you rudely, which does not make for a good navigator-pilot relationship. It also makes me want to do very mean things to him, but I restrain myself, because there is only so much the captain can talk his way out of, and an ensign beating up an admiral is not one of those things. But you will overcome this, I am sure._

_I could not let you go without having some way to speak with you for the next seven days, so I have put seven notes in your bag. It will not be the same as talking to you but it makes me feel better to know you will have some of me with you. Hopefully, it will make you feel better too. But do not read them all at once! If you do, I will know, and I will be very upset. I will feel so lonely here without you, and the thought that each day, you are opening a little part of me - because you are, it's my heart you are opening in these letters - it makes it more bearable to be here without you. I try to think of a time before you and I cannot - it is just a dark, hazy blur, that time before I came on to the bridge for the first time and saw you sitting there._

_Ah! Enough with the mooning, as you say. It is only seven days, we will be fine. I will keep track of all the latest gossip for you. I have a feeling you will miss Ensign Hanover finally cracking and asking out Nurse Taylor; or at least I hope you do, because I means I will win the betting pool. I will make sure that Lieutenant Li'Tang doesn't change all the settings on your console. And of course I will take care of your plants, especially Gertrude, who is probably the only thing on this ship who will miss you near as much as I will._

_I love you, Hikaru. Come home soon._

_Pasha_

A tear drops down, discoloring the paper, and Sulu hastily rubs his wet eyes, glancing over towards the door as if Carter is going to come out at any moment. He feels exposed, his chest ripped open, and it's both unfathomable and completely expected that Pavel could do that to him with a simple letter from so far away. It makes him laugh a little, because Pavel worries so often about his inexperience and yet can pour out his love to Sulu like an Enlightenment poet. Then he realizes he left nothing for Pavel, and he feels like a heel.

Something sparks, and he's searching through the emergency supply pack for the pencil - the real graphite pencil - he knows is buried in there. If he can't leave something for Pavel, he'll bring him something back. He flips over the paper and starts to write. His handwriting's not as perfect as Pavel's, but it's legible.

_Pasha, my love,_

_Did you know when you were writing your letter, it would reduce your sword-fighting, expert pilot boyfriend to a crying mess on the floor of Admiral Carter's personal shuttle craft? Because it did. I don't know how you do it, it must be something in your blood, some inherent Russianness than lets you write things like that. Maybe so many millennia living in the cold has forced you all to learn how to heat yourselves from the inside, and that's why you're all poets (and yes, I know, poetry was invented in Russia, and yes, I believe you). I feel like the least romantic person in the world next to you, but you'll forgive me, right? I try to make it up for it in other ways._

_The flight was hard, really hard, made harder by Admiral Carter and his damned formality. Every time he made a course correction, he'd say, "sending coordinates," and it took me a few tries but I realized I was supposed to say, "coordinates received", like they teach you first year in the Academy but no one every actual does. But we're in an asteroid belt for Christ's sake, it's all course correction, so it was just us saying it back and forth for hours on end, which was more distracting than any of the actual asteroids. We got dinged once but I pulled us out and now, here we are. Carter's here for the night, and took the bunk, and now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to sleep on the floor of the shuttle. I guess it doesn't really matter, because I'm going to sleep for shit without you._

_Then tomorrow Carter leaves and then I will alone for five days with nothing but my PADD and your letters, and I'm not lying when I say if I had to choose one to keep, it would be your letters._

_I know my plants are in good hands. I hope you're telling Gertrude Daddy loves her. (That's weird I refer to myself as Daddy with her, right? You can say it. It's weird.) As for the console, I hope you don't sweat it too much. Just keep yourself safe out there until I can get back. I told Kirk - well, he volunteered to look out for you, even though we both know you don't need it. It's me that needs it, needs to know someone is focused on your well-being if I can't be there._

_I love you, Pasha, so much, and I miss you already, miss our bed and your warm body. I miss your kisses and your accent and the way you run your fingers through my hair. I tried doing it to myself but it just felt strange._

_Ya tebya lyublu, Pasha. Be safe._

_Hikaru_


	5. Chapter 5

Sulu's alarm goes off at 4:45 and he pulls on his uniform, packs up his blanket, and is waiting for Carter when he emerges. Carter tells him the same thing he told him the night before, and Sulu nods his head. Then the admiral is gone and Sulu is alone.

He manages to wait ten minutes and he's pulling out Pavel's second letter, marked _Day 2_ across the front.

_Zvezda moy,_

_I hope you slept well, but I know you won't and I know I won't. We never do, do we, when we are apart? Are you cold without your personal heater? Is Carter gone? Are you lonely by yourself on the shuttle? What is Andialia like? I have so many questions for you but I will have to wait for the answers. And you know how I feel about waiting._

_I snuck a few extra movies on your PADD, those old action ones you can never find, but I searched and searched and found them. I do not understand your love of those old movies from the 20th century, but I love watching you watch them, because you look so happy, like a little kid. You are so serious so often, especially at the helm. Do not get me wrong, I love that too, love you so strong and focused, but it is nice to see you relaxed. It is nice that I am the one to see it._

_I checked the schedule and I am with Fortuna on Beta for this day. I think I will sleep in, maybe watch one of your old movies, pretend you are next to me, smiling. Ah, I write that now, but we both know I will be down in Engineering, trying to distract myself with the warp core and Scotty's stories. Scotty will get tired of me, I will be down there so much._

_I love you, Hikaru._

_Pavel_

Hikaru picks up his pencil.

_Pasha, my love,_

_You answered your own question, but I will confirm it: I barely slept at all. The floor was cold and hard and the opposite of everything you are. Carter's gone, he left this morning, and for now it's kind of nice, a little vacation, but then again, it's only been a few hours. All I know of Andialia is what I can see from the shuttle window; there are mountains, and it kind of feels like the Rockies back home. I haven't checked my PADD but I can't wait to see what movies you found. If it's_ Die Hard _, I will love you forever. Well, I will love you forever anyway, but you'll have earned yourself all sorts of extra favors. And yes, I mean those kind of favors._

_I love relaxing with you. I love that I can be silly and awkward and you don't judge me, you just love me for it. I've told you before, but I was always kind of a shy kid - it's why my parents started me on fencing, which they somehow thought would make me popular. I mean, I love it, but the fencing club wasn't exactly drawing in the groupies. Anyway, I had friends, but I always kept a little part of me closed off, because I was worried what would happen if I showed them all of me. And then you came along, Pasha, and I don't think I could have kept any of me closed off if I wanted to._

_You're the only one, Pasha. The only one._

_Ya tebya lyublu,_

_Hikaru_

_P.S. It IS_ Die Hard. _Pasha, you're incredible._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He moves into the bunk that night - the bed smells a little like Carter, so he strips the sheets and sleeps on the bare mattress - and sleep comes a little easier, although he still tosses and turns and stares at the ceiling more than he rests. He wakes up early and watches the blue-green sunrise from the pilot's chair, and then he goes and finds Pavel's letter.

_Zvezda moy,_

_Day three. I wonder how we are faring! Maybe are you are enjoying your time alone. I will not be offended if you tell me you did, Hikaru. I can imagine maybe it appeals to your quiet nature to be by yourself. I feel sometimes you are so strong, you do not need other people. I do not mean this in a bad way - you are self-sufficient, so capable, and I am so young and need to be coddled sometimes. I know you know this, I know you know I play it up sometimes, but I can't help it, you take such good care of me. Ah, I am giving away my secrets now. This is what I get for staying up so late._

_I hope you like the movies I got you. I am looking for the other ones - the Ghostbuster, yes? I will find it, even if I have to ask Scotty for help. I asked him for help with the other ones, and in return I had to listen to him go on about the golden age of Scottish cinema, which I cannot help but think did not actually happen anywhere outside his memory. Sometimes I look at him, and I think, you were on Delta Vega not so long ago. And we were at the Academy, and Spock was teaching, and Christopher Pike was the captain of the Enterprise. Do you think Admiral Pike was ever angry, that he finally got to captain the Enterprise and it was only for a day? Captain Kirk is meant to be the captain of the Enterprise, I know it like I know my own name, but I cannot help but think Admiral Pike deserved better._

_I don't know how I started on your old action movies and ended on poor Admiral Pike, but there it is. It is 3 a.m. now, and you leave in six hours. Hikaru, I do not want you to go. I love you too much._

_Pasha_

"I didn't want to go either, Pasha," Sulu says quietly, and realizes it's the first time he's spoken in a day.

_Pasha, my love,_

_First things first:_ Die Hard _was as amazing as I remembered it, and by that I mean amazingly ridiculous, which is exactly what I needed. Thank you._

_You think I don't know, Pasha, that sometimes you turn those big eyes on me knowing damn well I'll crumble, like that night after my first briefing for this mission when you looked at me so innocently and beckoned me to bed? I am not so strong against those eyes. I couldn't resist you anything, Pasha; I don't want to resist you anything. And please don't tell me you think you don't take care of me - you take better care of me than anyone. What do you call finding me old movies and getting me sandwiches when my briefings run late? What do you call these letters? I can see you there, hunched over the desk, writing away when you should be sleeping, all so that I won't be lonely in this damn shuttle craft. If that's not taking care of me, I don't know what is._

_It's true, I don't mind the silence so much here. I'm better suited to this than most people. Can you imagine Kirk here? He would have already rewired the entire shuttle to, I don't know, blink the lights along with bad techno music. No, strike that. He would be out there, trying to take over the negotiations from Carter._

_As for Admiral Pike - he was a good man, a better man than me, because I don't know how he sat in that chair so calmly and handed his ship over to Kirk after one day in command. I mean, you're right, Kirk is the Enterprise's captain, there's no doubt about it. But he spent all those years at the Academy, just waiting for the Enterprise to be built, and then she is and he loses her. It had to have been heartbreaking._

_When we got back to Earth after the Narada and Kirk told us about Ambassador Spock, and the alternate timeline - it freaked me out. I mean, it's basic science, alternate universes, but it doesn't mean I like it. He said we were all there, in that other time, but it wasn't us, right? It couldn't be. We are us._

_See, this is why I get freaked out._

_I'm going to watch another stupid movie, before I start thinking about this too much and my head explodes._

_Ya tebya lyublu,_

_H_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Zvezda moy,_

_It is day four, and I imagine by now we are both getting a little antsy for - well, you know. I survived eighteen years without sex, Hikaru, and here I am, only thinking about you being gone and getting frustrated. I was a nice boy before I met you, you know! And now, now I am a sex fiend. I cannot believe I just wrote that, but it is true, Hikaru, this is what you have reduced me to._

_I kid, of course, I would not have it any other way, I would not give it up for anything. These are supposed to be nice, uplifting letters, not me complaining about, what do you say, having blue balls? I hope you are keeping up with your Russian lessons. Do not let the computer adjust your pronunciation too much - those programs always use a Muscovite accent, so-called 'proper' Russian diction, to which I say, bah, teach people how to talk like normal Russians do. When I asked you if you wanted me to teach you Russian, and you agreed, I never thought we'd still be doing it, that you would be learning to speak like a native, and it makes me so happy you are willing to put so much effort and time into it. Someday, when we return to Earth, I will take you back there. My father will try to intimidate you and my grandmother will stuff you so full of pierogis you will want to throw up, but I will show you all the embarrassing holovids of my awkward childhood, which will make up for it, yes? I will show you pictures of my mother, too._

_She would have loved you, Hikaru. Just like I do._

_Pasha_

_P.S. Papa will love you too. But I have never brought a boyfriend home before, so I imagine you will get both the "you better not be a bad influence on my son" friend speech and the "what are your intentions towards my son" romantic interest speech. He has a speech for every occasion, my papa._

_P.P.S. And for the love of all that is holy, I don't care what he says to you: do not agree to go ice fishing with him._

Sulu thinks about a young Pavel Chekov, all rosy checks and curly hair, and grins.

_Pasha, my love, mi corazon (that's 'my heart' in Spanish, which you probably knew already),_

_Please, Pasha, I beg you, do not tempt me with thoughts of sex. The last thing I need is for Carter to come back early and find me masturbating in his personal shuttle. Can you imagine the charges? 'Negligence of duty due to having one's hands in one's pants, jerking off to a letter from his boyfriend, who, by the way, is nineteen'. Just what I need on my personal record._

_I watched some more movies, and read one of the westerns McCoy recommended - it wasn't bad, except that I kept picturing him in the lead role, which was really uncomfortable when it came to the sex scenes. And before you ask, NO, not uncomfortable in a "my pants just got really tight" way, but in a "I really don't need that picture in my head" way. And I am keeping up on my Russian, although it's not nearly as fun without you. For one thing, the computer doesn't play strip conjugation with me (if I didn't know you were a genius already, that would have sealed the deal, when you came up with that particular teaching method)._

_I want to go with Russia with you, and be intimidated by your father, and get stuffed full of pierogis by your grandmother, and most of all I want to see pictures of you as a kid, and I want to see pictures of your mom, and hear all about her and your family. I can't imagine how it must hurt to talk about her, but I need you to know, I will always listen if you ever want to. I'll listen to anything you want to tell me._

_Ya tebya lyublu,_

_H_

_P.S. Message received. No ice fishing._


	6. Chapter 6

The sunrise is a reddish orange, almost like a sunset on Earth, and Sulu lets himself think he's home for a few extra minutes before he pulls out Pavel's letter.

_Zvezda moy,_

_I have never noticed, from your desk chair, I have an excellent view of your side of the bed, and I am watching you sleep, Hikaru. Your face is turned away but I can see your strong back and neck. I know there is a scar there, and I have never asked you about it, and suddenly, now I need to know where it came from. Where did it come from, Hikaru?_

_There are times I think I know you so well, and there are times I realize there are whole parts of your life I have no idea about. Who were your friends growing up? Who was your crush? Was he - she? - your first sexual partner? I want to know about your first date, your first kiss, the first time you touched someone. What did you parents say when you came out to them? You know all those things about me, well, most of them at least. I am not jealous, I swear, just curious, to see how you became the man you are today. I need to know._

_I need so much of you, Hikaru, sometimes it scares me._

_I love you._

_Pasha_

Sulu reads the letter, rereads it again, then sets it down. He feels a tightness in his chest and he runs through his morning exercises again to try and relieve it.

_Pasha, my love,_

_I know. I understand, I feel it too, and the only thing I can say is at least it is good that we both need each other so much, right? I mean, we couldn't change it if we tried._

_That scar is from my sister, actually. I must have been eight or nine, which means she was ten or eleven, and I was being a real little shit, which wasn't uncommon, but I mean, a REAL little shit, and she chucked her glass of milk at me. It didn't hit me, but it hit the cabinet next to me, and shattered (girl's got a wicked arm on her - she only missed me because she was so mad) and a piece of glass lodged in my shoulder. The FACE she made, like she thought she was going to be executed - oh man, it was almost worth the pain. My mom came running in, demanding to know what happened, and I guess I felt some guilt about having goaded her into it because I lied and made up some bullshit story that probably defied the laws of physics, but my mom bought it._

_(And that, by the way, pretty much sums up my relationship with my sister in a nut shell.)_

_As for your next two questions, it's the same person - Lucas Murphy. He and I were born a day apart at the same hospital, and his parents lived down the block from mine, so it was kind of a given we were gonna be friends. We grew up together, played baseball together, did everything together, and then one day I realized that my feelings for him went beyond best buddy. I never said anything – I didn't know I was gay yet, or at least didn't know enough to admit it to myself - and in seventh grade his family moved away to somewhere, Canada I think, and we lost touch. I still wonder what happened to him._

_First date, first kiss, first sexual encounter - Savannah McDowell. She was blond and blue-eyed and an all-American wet dream. I took her to homecoming and prom and we lost our virginities to each other, and then I realized the one I really loved was her brother, Nate. I was smart enough to keep that to myself when I broke up with her, though. First guy I slept with? Xavier Jefferson. He was a second year when I was a first year at the Academy, medical track. He was blond haired and blue eyed too, and completely self-confident. For lack of a better phrase, he taught me everything I know, although I like to think I've made some good updates along the way. He was on the Farragut at the Battle of Vulcan. We may not have worked out, but he was a good guy._

_And my parents? I'm from San Francisco, Pavel. They didn't even blink._

_Ya tebya lyublu,_

_H_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_So. I made the mistake of getting up for a drink of water, and when I passed the bed I saw you had kicked the blankets off and God, Hikaru, you are naked and perfect and it is taking everything I have not to wake you up and make you touch me._

_No, not touch me. Make you fuck me._

Hikaru coughs, drops his glass of water on to the floor next to him. When he groans, his voice is scratchy and low.

_I want you so badly, Hikaru, I can't even explain it. I was not going to tell you this, but I have been practicing, with my fingers, trying to stretch myself for you. It hurt at first, but now it is starting to feel good. I picture you, when I am doing it -_

Hikaru's moan seems to echo in the empty shuttle and he can't help himself, he wrestles down the zipper of his pants and takes himself in hand.

_I picture you, when I am doing it, I think about what your fingers will feel like, what your cock will feel like. I want you inside of me, Hikaru. I want it so much my whole body aches._

The paper crumbles in Sulu's hand as he strokes himself harder, picturing Pasha on their bed, fingers tentatively pushing in, soft little gasps escaping from his open mouth. It's too much and Sulu is crumbling, coming over his fingers onto the floor of the shuttle, Pavel's name on his lips.

"Oh, fuck," he breathes, then snatches up the letter again. Pavel's handwriting, which had started to become frantic, has steadied, returned to its usual precision.

_I had to go slip into the bathroom just now, get myself off, or I would have woken you up. But you need to sleep, you leave in a few hours, and if something should happen because you were tired, because I could not control myself - I could not live with that._

_But when you return, Hikaru. The things we will do to each other, I promise._

_I love you._

Sulu lets out a short laugh, because at least Pavel came, too. He would have felt oddly guilty if he hadn't.

_Pasha._

_I just came all over myself and the shuttle floor, Pasha, because of you, because the thought of you fingering yourself - God, I'm getting hard all over again. When you tell me things like, it shakes me, down to my core, fills me with love and lust and a need that only you can satisfy._

_As much as I wish you had woken me up that morning, I'm glad you didn't. I wouldn't want our first time to be rushed, overshadowed by my leaving. Our first time, I want to take my time, touch you all over, maybe make us both come so we are not so desperate for release. Then I'm going to open you up until you're begging me, Pasha, begging me to just fuck you. And then I'm going to lay you on your back, because I want to see those big eyes the first time I'm inside you. I want to see those big eyes the first time I fuck you._

_You think you know what I will do to you, Pasha. But you have no idea._

_Ya tebya lyublu, Pasha._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Day seven, Hikaru._

_It is day seven there and 6 a.m. here, and you are starting to wake up, and in three hours you will be gone, so all I will write is this:_

_Come home to me, zvezda moy. Please, come home to me. My heart cannot navigate its way without you._

_I love you so much._

_Pasha_

Hikaru holds the letter, stares down at the words written there, wonders if the universe is big enough to hold what he feels for Pavel Chekov.

"Lieutenant?" Carter is there, hands on his hips. "We are leaving in five."

"Yes, sir," Sulu answers automatically. Grabs his pencil and scribbles out one last note.

_Hold on just a little longer, Pasha, my love, my life. I'm coming home._

_Your heart will be the star that guides me there._

_Ya tebya lyublu._


	7. Chapter 7

Sulu knows what to expect now, has prepared himself mentally, so while the trip is still harrowing it's easier than the first time. When they clear the belt Carter opens up a channel and hails the Enterprise, and Sulu's never so happy to hear Kirk's voice when he assures them the Enterprise is also on schedule to meet them at their rendezvous point.

And then she appears, her beautiful silver hull streaking through space, making Sulu's heart flutter in his chest.

The bay doors open and Sulu thanks the almighty for all those hours his instructors forced them to do landing drills, because he's too distracted to think straight. They step out, and he sees Chekov, who gives a little grin, bounces on his heels just the slightest, and Sulu can't help his smile.

Kirk greets Carter, then grabs Sulu's hand and shakes it. "Good to have you back, Lieutenant."

"Good to be back, sir," Sulu says, sounding kind of breathless, and Kirk grins and winks, the bastard.

"You've been missed," he says, somehow solemn and smarmy at the same time, and Sulu doesn't know whether to smile or scowl.

Carter's talking to Spock about the de-briefing – Sulu's not really paying attention, he's trying to find Pavel and the nearest exit simultaneously – when he hears his name. "Sir?"

Carter gives him that look he's come to recognize as _you realize I have better things to do right now_. "We'll start the debrief immediately."

"Oh – I didn't -" he stammers as his heart plummets. He had assumed he wouldn't be needed, not right away. All he did was fly the shuttle, after all. But Carter's narrowing his eyes in annoyance now. "I – yes, sir. Of course."

"We are ready to proceed when you are, sir," Kirk steps in and when the admiral turns for the door he gives Sulu a little shrug as if to say, _sorry_. Sulu glances back but Chekov's across the room, doing his best to not look crushed. Then he realizes McCoy's next to him and he grabs his arm.

"Tell Pavel to check my bag," he whispers.

McCoy gives him a long stare.

" _Please_ ," Sulu whines.

The doctor sighs, makes a _why me_ face. "Ensign Chekov," he calls as he walks away. "A moment, please."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's a miracle Sulu makes it through the debriefing at all. It helps that he finally finds out what the damn mission was about: Carter has been negotiating an exchange with the Andialians, advanced AI technology for the dilithum that is apparently abundant in their many mountain ranges. The Andialians are recovering from a great plague that has decimated their population, if not their xenophobia, and they require AI helpers to perform the more laborious tasks as they go about rebuilding their culture. It would all be very interesting, if Sulu cared about anything more than Pavel right now.

Carter finally finishes, stands to dismiss them and then –

"Lieutenant Sulu. A moment."

He closes his eyes for a second, barely represses the whimper that crawls up his throat. "Yes, sir."

Carter comes around the table so that they are standing facing each other and Sulu braces himself for the critique he knows is coming. "Lieutenant Sulu, I asked you to stay because I have a proposition for you, and I haven't cleared it with your captain yet."

"Sir?"

"I need to know if you would consider leaving the Enterprise to become my pilot permanently."

Sulu's brain explodes a little.

"You're a damn fine pilot, Lieutenant. I like your style." Carter puts a hand of Sulu's shoulder. "I know I was hard on you this trip. But I needed to know what you were made of."

"I - I'm sorry, sir, I'm just a little shocked," Sulu stammers. "I thought –" he catches himself before he spits out I thought you were just an asshole. He clears his throat. "Sir, it's an honor that you'd even ask me, it is. But I'm sorry. I can't leave the Enterprise."

Carter seems like he wants to be surprised but isn't. "That's it? You won't even consider it?"

Sulu gives a little shrug. "Time won't make a difference, sir."

Carter cants his head, narrows his eyes. "Is she worth it?"

"The Enterprise?" Sulu asks stupidly, and Carter sighs.

"No. Whoever was writing you letters."

"I – oh." He thinks about lying but figures, in for a penny, in for a pound. "Yes, sir. He is." Carter makes a face, one Sulu can’t read, and his cheeks burn. "Sir, if that offends you, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to lie -"

"Relax, Lieutenant," Carter interrupts. He leans in, a conspiratorial look on his face. "You think Commander Fernandez flew with me for twenty-five years because he liked the shuttle so much?"

Sulu's jaw drops. And he can't help it, he laughs. Carter frowns.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm not laughing at you – it's just -" he rubs his face, wonders how he got to this place. "My boyfriend. He's my navigator."

Carter's brow quirks up. "Wait. The Russian ensign? Chekov?"

Sulu laughs again. "Pavel Andreievich, sir."

"Huh." A little smile flirts across his lips. "Well, then. At least I know I've been bested by another navigator." He holds out a hand for Sulu to shake, and Sulu takes it. "God speed, Lieutenant. Best of luck to you and the Enterprise. And as for you and your navigator…" the smile turns wistful. "I can only hope you are as happy as me and mine were."

"Thank you, sir," Sulu says softly. "And – I'm sorry I didn't say it before, but my condolences on Commander Fernandez."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Carter gives a short nod. "You're dismissed."


	8. Chapter 8

Sulu doesn't really remember how he got to his quarters. All he knows is the instant the doors open he's got an armful of curly-haired Russian desperately pressing kisses to his face.

"Oh, Hikaru, _bozhe moy_ ," Pavel whines between kisses. "I have missed you, Hikaru, so much."

"Pasha, you have no idea," Sulu breathes, grabs his face to hold him still so he can kiss him properly. Chekov moans into mouth as he slips his tongue in, strokes it against his palate.

"Hikaru," he gasps. "Hikaru, my letters – your letters – I read them, we have so much to say to each other, so much to do to each other –"

Sulu silences him with another kiss. "Pasha," he says when he breaks off, his voice ragged. "Pasha, I know. And we will. But right now, I don't want to talk. I just want to feel you against me. Please."

Chekov nods frantically, stops talking, just kisses Sulu and grabs at his uniform top to pull it off. Sulu realizes suddenly that Chekov's already mostly naked – he doesn't know how he hasn't notice that before - and he shoves the younger man onto the bed, pausing only to finish stripping himself before climbing on top of him. They tangle legs for a moment as Chekov flails a foot to kick off his boxers but then they're together, chest to chest, and their moans fill up the room. Pavel reaches up, scratches his fingernails against his scalp and Hikaru bends his head up into the touch, only to have Pavel pull him back down into a kiss. Their kisses are wet and messy, too much teeth and tongue and yet perfect, and they pull away only to breathe. Then Pavel reaches down, takes them both in hand, and Hikaru cries out. He's vaguely aware that he's talking, an endless stream of _Pasha, Pasha_ and _I missed you, my love_ and _ya tebya lyublu_ as Pavel strokes them together, and Pavel responds back, _my Hikaru, zvezda moy, I love you so much_. Hikaru's hand joins Pavel's and their fingers tangle together, hips pumping, and it isn't long before they're both coming in hard spurts, gasping into each other's mouths.

"Hikaru," Chekov breathes as Sulu drops his head down his thin chest. " _Miliy moy_."

Sulu squeezes his eyes shut, lets out of shaky breath. " _Miliy moy_ ," he echoes. He goes to move, get them cleaned up, but Chekov stops him, leans over and pulls a wet washcloth off the side table. Sulu laughs a little at his preparation and offers his hand to him to wipe.

"What is it you boy scouts say," Chekov teases. "'Be prepared'?"

"I really don't think this is what they had in mind," Sulu says as Chekov flings the dirty cloth into the laundry chute.

"Ah, well. Maybe this is more their speed." He leans over again, reaches the top shelf of the table, and pulls out a small container of fruit and cheese, which he hands to a laughing Sulu, then reaches back for a small bottle of tea. "It is good idea, no?"

"It's an amazing idea. You are amazing," Sulu agrees, and Chekov beams and steals a grape.

"It is almost like I knew we would end up in bed first," he wonders, a look of mock awe on his face. Sulu grins, feels like his chest might burst, he's so happy. He lays down with the container on his chest and Chekov sits up close, one leg over Sulu's, the other tucked cross-wise.

"Tell me what you did while I was gone," he urges. "What did I miss?"

Chekov shrugs. "Like I predicted, lots of time in Engineering when I was not on the bridge. I went back to my quarters one night, thinking I might sleep better there, but I only lasted an hour before I was back here, hugging your pillow. The captain and the doctor, they felt bad for me I think, because they kept inviting me for meals. Spock even invited me to play chess."

"Did you go?"

Pavel nods. "I lost, but he said I am a far superior opponent than the captain, although I am not to tell the captain that. The bridge was so sad without you, Hikaru. Fortuna takes forever because he insists on double-checking all my calculations, and Li'Tang never says anything, just sits there breathing loudly through zir's gills. Ze doesn't even take bathroom breaks. It's creepy."

"I don't think ze has a bladder," Sulu points out, and Chekov scrunches up his face.

"Creepy," he repeats. "Oh, and I am out of the pool. Hanover has still not 'manned up', as you say. It's becoming quite sad."

"That's all right," Sulu says, feeds Pavel a chunk of cheddar. "I've got this week. We could still win it."

Chekov leans down, brushes Hikaru's bangs off his forehead. "And you, my Hikaru? What of your adventure? Was Carter a miserable bastard the whole time?"

"Funny you should say that," Sulu says, taking a bite of melon. "He’s an asshole to me every time he speaks, right? And then we're leaving the final debriefing and he calls me back in after Kirk and Spock leave. And he asks me - get this - if I'd consider becoming his pilot permanently. Can you believe it?"

"Yes," Pavel says solemnly, and Sulu looks up in surprise. "Hikaru, anyone who flies with you is going to want to keep you. Why do you think Kirk gets so nervous when other captains request you?"

"Really?"

"Really. But what did you tell him?"

"What do you think I told him? I told him no!"

Chekov looks pleased. "How did he take it?"

"He didn't seem that surprised. And then he says, is she worth it, and I'm like, who? the ship?, like an idiot, and he says, no, the one who wrote you those letters." He cups Pavel's cheek. "So I said, yes, he is."

Pavel looks at him, misty eyed, doesn't say anything, just leans in for a soft kiss. Hikaru kisses back, smiles, then forges on.

"So he gets this look on his face, and I'm like, don't tell me he's a homophobe in addition to being an asshole. And then he tells me that he and Commander Fernandez were, you know, _together_."

"No," Pavel breathes, scandalized. Hikaru nods.

"Yeah," he says. "So I can't help it, I laugh, which is _horrible_ , because Fernandez is _dead,_ so I tell him, my boyfriend is my navigator. But then he says, who? the Russian ensign?"

Chekov's eyebrows fly up to his hairline. "Did you tell him yes?" he exclaims.

"Of course I did, what I am, going to deny you? He was just so amused by the symmetry of it all. He told me he was glad he lost out to another navigator."

"Oh my god, Hikaru." Chekov looks like he can't decide whether he should laugh or scream. "But you rejected him. What if he uses it against us?"

"He won't. He spent twenty-five years protecting his relationship with Fernandez, Pasha. He's not going to throw us under the bus."

Chekov looks thoughtful, then nods his head as if to say, I accept this hypothesis and pops a grape in his mouth. "Does this mean we now have an admiral on our side?"

Sulu snorts.

"I don't know that I'd go that far." He tilts his head, really looks at Chekov. Pavel's face is flushed, his hair unruly, and he's smiling, a relaxed, happy smile that Sulu has missed perhaps more than anything. He runs a hand up the leg swung over his own, massages the muscle there. "Hey, Pasha?"

"Hmm?" Chekov says. Sulu squeezes his hand against the inner thigh, and Chekov's hand freezes halfway to his mouth. The smile turns in to something more devious. "Is there something you need, Hikaru?" he teases, and yelps as Hikaru's hand slides up and strokes his balls.

"I think snack time is over," Sulu says evenly, gazing up through his eyelashes. He’s trying to be cool, keep Pavel relaxed, but he loses his aplomb when Chekov grabs the container, tosses it off the bed, fruit and cheese spilling out. "Pasha! You can't just chuck it overboard - "

"The hell I cannot," Chekov announces, straddling Sulu. Hikaru reaches out, tries to still him, but Pavel pushes him back onto the bed, follows with a frantic kiss. Hikaru laughs and flips them.

"Easy, tiger," he teases, pulling back a little, and Pavel frowns.

"Do not make me wait any longer, Hikaru," he says softly. "Please."

"I won't," Hikaru promises. "I won't. But we do this my way, Pasha, okay? I just - I want to make sure this is good for you. We can't rush it."

His soft words take away the sting and Pavel's mouth relaxes, his eyes softening. "Okay," he whispers, then gives a little quirk of a smile. “You will be navigator and pilot today.”

“Just for today,” he says. "And - you have to tell me, Pasha, if you need to stop, or slow down, or anything, I won't be mad." Chekov nods but Sulu cups his cheek, forces him to focus. "Promise me, Pasha."

"I promise," Chekov says, and Sulu believes him.

"Okay," he says quietly. "Okay." Then he leans down and kisses him, deliberately slow, feels Chekov melt under him, ceding control. He runs his tongue along Pavel's mouth, dips it inside to stroke Pavel's, and Pavel sighs, runs his hand through Hikaru's thick hair. It's warm and comfortable and what Sulu wants, to remind Pavel this is their home base, their zero coordinates. It's only when Pavel is completely relaxed under him that he breaks off. Chekov's eyes flutter open and he just gazes at Sulu, ready to follow wherever he should go. Hikaru smiles, kisses his chin, his cheeks, feels Pavel's long lashes brush against his temple. Then he leans over to his side table, pulls out the lubricant he knows is stored there. He's slightly surprised it's still full.

"I have my own," Chekov supplies, as if reading Sulu's mind. "I...uh, may have stolen it from the medical storage bay." Sulu laughs.

"Industrious as always," he praises. He pushes back until he's alongside Pavel, strokes his stomach. "You're sure?" he asks, one last time.

"I'm sure," Pavel says, and there's no hesitation in his voice. He wraps a hand around the nape of Hikaru’s neck. "Make love to me, Hikaru."

Sulu nods, as if he had a choice in the matter, as if he could deny Pavel's soft voice and clear, shining eyes. They kiss, languid in their movements, and Hikaru runs a hand along his chest, his stomach, then strokes a strong hip and dips his hand around to the inner thigh. Pavel lets his legs fall open as if he's done this a thousand times before, and it's like a hand around his heart to know that Pavel trusts him so completely. Sulu pulls back just enough to slick his hand, then returns to the kiss and to Pavel's body, finally coming to wrap around Pavel's full erection, and Chekov gasps just the smallest bit. Sulu's hand slides easily and he keeps his touch light, not wanted to excite Pavel too much. Chekov squirms and Sulu releases his grip, ignores Pavel's disappointed noise in favor of drifting lower, stroking gently down, pushing in just to touch the small hole.

Pavel gasps into his mouth, spreads his legs a little wider.

A little more lubricant and Hikaru's slipping inside, Pavel squirming and mewling against him but not breaking the kiss, not telling him to stop. Sulu's own cock is throbbing, and he strains to still his hips, keep them from thrusting against Pavel's side. But then Pavel relaxes, stops squirming, and kisses Hikaru with a renewed passion, and Sulu pushes in a little deeper, stretches him a little more.

Pavel pulls back, gives a quick bite to Hikaru's lip. "Go ahead," he whispers. "I can take more."

Hikaru can't help his groan, but Pavel's right, his second finger slips in without complaint, and Hikaru pushes a little harder, swallows the moan that pours out. Then he crooks his fingers, searching for that one spot -

Pavel's eyes snap open and he wails as his head falls back against the pillow.

Hikaru ducks his head to hide his delight. "Didn't find that when you were practicing?" he teases, and Chekov laughs and shakes his head.

"I think I would have remembered," he says breathlessly. "Oh, God, Hikaru, don't stop now."

Hikaru smiles, plunges back into the kiss, his tongue sliding along Pavel's in time with his fingers. Pavel's squirming again, not in discomfort now but in anticipation, and when Hikaru adds a third finger, he feels Pavel whisper, " _da, da_ ," against his mouth. Then he hears the snick of the lubricant cap and Pavel's slick hand is sliding along his cock, and it's Hikaru's turn to gasp and squirm.

"Pavel - are you -" He feels like he's in a losing battle for control now, with Pavel thrusting against his fingers and his warm hand squeezing up and down his erection. Pavel takes mercy, releases him, pulls him down for a quick kiss, his tongue darting in and out. He slides his mouth over, sucks at Hikaru's ear.

"Now, _zvezda moy_ ," he whispers, and Sulu nods, pulls his fingers out and shifts over so he's in between Pavel's legs. He leans down, kisses his chest, his shoulders, licks up his neck to his mouth. Looks in Pavel's bright eyes and sees the universe reflected back.

"I love you, Pasha," he says softly. Chekov smiles.

" _Ya tebya lyublu_ , Hikaru," he says back, so easily, and Hikaru feels like their love must be a natural law.

Hikaru pulls Pavel forward a little, arranges his legs over Hikaru's wide spread knees, then takes himself in hand, pushes in just the slightest, just breeching the muscle. Pavel makes a surprised noise and wraps a hand around Hikaru's bicep. Hikaru freezes immediately. "Do you need me to pull out?" he whispers, even as his whole body is vibrating, anxious to push forward.

"No," Pavel assures him. "No, I just need - just a second." He breathes out, relaxes slightly. "Okay. Okay, keep going."

They push forward, centimeter by centimeter, Hikaru pausing with each squeeze of Pavel's hand, giving him time to adjust, until Pavel's hand slides down off his arms, comes to rest on Hikaru's hip instead. He lifts his legs, wraps his ankles around the small of Hikaru's back, and the change in angle makes them both moan. "You can move now," he whispers against Hikaru's shaking shoulder, and Hikaru nods and thrusts slowly. Does it again, and when Pavel meets the thrust with his own, Hikaru drops his head with a groan.

"Pasha," he whimpers. "Pasha, God, you feel so good."

"Keep going," Pavel pleads, "keep going, Hikaru, _please_."

It's all the encouragement Hikaru needs and he moans out a fuck yes before pushing his hips forward, falling into a rhythm that leaves both of them gasping. He feels Pavel's hand slide down and bats it away, pulls up enough to take Pavel's cock in his own hand and stroke with his thrusts. A steady string of praise falls from Pavel's lips, some Russian, some Standard, some another language all together, known only to Pavel. Then his breath hitches and Hikaru knows he's close, so he shifts his hips, pushes Pavel's legs up so that he's hitting his prostate with every thrust.

"Come on, baby," he chants as Pavel whimpers underneath him. "Come on, Pasha, come for me, baby. I want to feel you come for me." Pavel cries out as his body locks and he comes all over Hikaru's hand, his own chest, and the motion tightens him around Hikaru's cock. "Oh, fuck," Sulu moans, and he can feel his defenses crumbling, doesn't know how much longer he can hold. "Oh, fuck, Pasha."

"Do it," Pavel gasps out, still breathless, and Hikaru looks up in surprise. "Let go, _lyubov moy_ , it's okay, let go."

"I don't - I don't want to hurt you," Hikaru protests, but Pavel pulls him down into a hard kiss, tongue tangling against his.

"You will not hurt me," Pavel whispers back. "Now fuck me, Hikaru."

Pavel's words snap the last string of restraint and Hikaru pushes up on his hands and snaps his hips forward, letting his need take over. Pavel meets him thrust for thrust, whispers constant encouragement as he strokes Hikaru's back, his neck. He feels his orgasm begin to build, the feeling like pure energy shooting down his spine, and he digs his hands harder in Pavel's hips.

"That's it." He can barely hear Pavel over his own harsh breathing and the drumming of his heart but his voice makes its way in like it knows the path. "That's it, Hikaru, fuck, just like that."

"I'm gonna - " He can't find the words, can't put them together. "Pasha -"

"Come inside me," Pavel commands, and Hikaru obeys, snapping his hips forward one last time and coming hard with a deep moan.

"Oh _fuck_ ," he whimpers as his dick twitches in aftershocks. "Oh, god, Pasha." He lets himself be dragged down, kissed until he feels like he might pass out.

"Hikaru," Pavel breathes as he pulls back for air. "My Hikaru."

"You're okay?" Hikaru gasps. "Did I hurt you?" Pavel shakes his head, strokes his face soothingly.

"I am okay," he assures him, then smiles. "I am far better than okay. I am amazing. You are amazing." He kisses Hikaru’s lips, his cheeks, his nose. “Thank you, Hikaru. For taking such good care of me.”

Sulu sighs, rubs his cheek against Pavel’s. “It’s the least you deserve, Pasha.”

It’s only later, as they stand in the shower, letting months’ worth of water rations flow down, that Pavel asks the question that’s been on his mind. He’s tucked behind Hikaru, arms around his waist, face rested between his shoulder blades. “Hikaru? Have you ever – you know, been the one of the bottom?”

Sulu smiles, because he’s been waiting for this question for a while. “Yes,” he says, “a few times, with Xavier.”

“Did you not like it?”

Sulu considers his words carefully. “I did, but I didn’t,” he says. “Remember what I wrote in that one letter, that I always felt the need to keep part of me closed off? Bottoming felt good, but it also felt like I was giving that control up, and I didn’t like that.” He turns so they are chest to chest. “But with you, I feel like maybe I could.”

“ _Da_?” Chekov breathes, looking awestruck and terrified all at once. “You would trust me with that?”

“I would trust you with anything,” Sulu says easily, because it’s the truth, and Chekov presses his forehead to Sulu’s.

“Maybe someday, we will try,” he whispers, a little hesitant, and Sulu can sense Chekov’s not ready to reverse their roles yet. He nuzzles against Pavel, holds him a little closer, tries to tell him it’s okay. Chekov sighs a little, presses into his touch. “Until then, we keep practicing, yes?”

“As much as you want,” Sulu promises solemnly, and Chekov laughs, the worry lifting from his eyes.

“You promise?” Chekov purrs, and Sulu feels himself stirring, because he doesn’t know how Pavel does it, goes from innocent to seductive like that, he just knows it turns him on. He kisses Pavel, languid and open, then grabs a hip and turns him quick. Chekov’s hand flies out to brace himself against the wall and he gasps.

“I promise,” he growls in Chekov’s ear, and Pavel makes a small noise, squirms against him. He reaches around, finds Pavel half-hard, and he begins to stroke him, tight and sure. “You think you can handle that?”

“ _Da, da,_ ” Chekov pants, pushing back against Sulu’s hardening cock, his free hand reaching around to grab at Sulu’s hip, pulling him closer. “ _Ah_ , Hikaru, please.”

“Please, what, baby? Please make you come?” The words pour out, and Sulu loves that they can do this, that Pavel trusts him to take control just as much as he trusts him to take care of him. “Or please fuck you?”

“Please fuck me,” Chekov moans out. “I want you inside me, Hikaru, please.”

“Already? I was just there,” Sulu teases, and he feels a little cruel when Pavel whimpers, humps against his hip and whines out a please, Hikaru. “ _Ssh_ , it’s okay, baby, I’ll always give you what you need.” He fingers Pavel, finds him slick and wet. “Do you need me to stretch you, Pasha, or are you still ready from the last time I fucked you?”

“I’m ready,” Chekov pleads. “I’m ready, Hikaru – ah, _da_ , fuck, yes.” His back bows as Sulu pushes in, slowly, hands tight on Chekov’s hips.

“That’s it,” Sulu hisses as Chekov relaxes around him, takes him deeper. “That’s it, Pasha. _Fuck_ , baby, you take my cock so well.” Chekov whimpers at the encouragement and plants his feet wider, his hands firmer against the wall of the shower.

“Do it,” he orders, his voice as sure as a captain’s. “ _Fuck me_ , Hikaru, make me come.” Sulu lets out a sharp laugh, grabs Chekov’s hands and pins him in place.

“You got it, baby,” he croons, slides almost out and then pushes back in all the way, and Chekov’s wail bounces off the tile. Sulu sets a steady rhythm, deep but not hard because he’s got enough rational brain left to know this is still new to Pavel. He feels Chekov pulling, trying to free his hand, and he’s whimpering for Sulu to touch him, _please, Hikaru._ “Keep your hands up,” he says, but drops his own hands, wraps one around Chekov’s hips and one around his erection. Chekov’s head drops down and he whines his relief as Sulu strokes him with his thrusts, a steady stream of encouragement falling from his open lips. He knows neither of them is going to last long, not when this is so new and stimulating and perfect, and then Chekov throws his head back and comes, his back bowing impossibly deep, and it pulls Sulu over the cliff with him.


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning, Chekov is a little surprised the bridge feels normal. He feels so different, it doesn’t seem possible everyone else is still the same.

He knows he should hide the smile as he and Sulu take their seats, but then he peaks and sees Hikaru smiling too.

“I’m going to have to stop sending you out on assignment, Lieutenant,” Kirk says. “Every time I do, I end up having to fight to keep you on my ship.”

Sulu looks around in surprise. “I didn’t think Admiral Carter would say anything,” he says quietly.

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t mad. Just said he asked and you politely declined. Which, we appreciate greatly.”

“Yes, sir,” Sulu says. He turns back to his console, but not before a quick peak back at Chekov. “I belong here on the Enterprise.”

“I don’t doubt it.” There’s the slightest hint of something in Kirk’s voice, although Sulu can’t tell if it’s happiness or snark or something in between, so he just nods.

Behind him, Kirk narrows his eyes. Not at Sulu, but at Chekov, who appears to be squirming in his seat. As if he can’t sit comfortably. As if –

The proverbial light bulb goes off and Kirk can’t help the little noise that pops out.

 _Welcome home, Hikaru_ , he thinks, and tries not to snicker.

Chekov settles, but then he has to turn to address a question for Spock, and when he turns back, squirms again. A few minutes later, he shifts again. Kirk bites his lip to tamp down the laugh.

“Ensign, you okay?”

The back of his neck turns bright pink almost instantaneously. “Yes, Captain,” he stammers out. “Fine, sir.”

“You sure?” Kirk shouldn’t tease him, he knows he shouldn’t, but sometimes he just can’t help it. He ignores the not-so-subtle evil eye Sulu is sending his way and digs in. “You pull a muscle or something?”

“That must be it, sir,” Chekov says, and Kirk is again reminded of what a piss-poor liar the kid is.

“Well, if it continues to bother you, go on down to see Dr. McCoy,” Kirk says, feeling magnanimous in his advice, as if he hadn’t been the one to bring it up in the first place. _Ooh, Bones. I can’t wait to tell Bones_.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Chekov puts his head down, pretends to focus on his console like they’re flying through a mine field and not open space.

Shifts again.

Kirk grins.

“Mr. Spock? You have the conn.” The turbo lift doors part before him and he steps in, spins on one heel. “If you need me I’ll be in Medical.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Kirk appears in his doorway, his mouth is turned up in a smirk that means he is, without a doubt, up to something.

“Out with it,” McCoy says.

Kirk doesn’t try to deny it, just comes around to sit on his desk, legs swinging like a kid. “So,” he starts dramatically, and McCoy rolls his eyes, “I couldn’t help but notice that a certain _ensign_ seemed to be having trouble sitting normally this morning.”

“Hmm.” McCoy’s voice is non-committal but his eyebrow is very interested.

“In separate news, a certain _lieutenant_ came onto the bridge looking _especially_ pleased with himself.” Kirk taps his chin as if in deep thought. “And I can’t help but think…these two events just might be related.”

McCoy can’t help it, he grins. “So they finally got down to it.”

“Looks like.” Kirk wipes away a non-existent tear. “Oh, Bones. Our little Pavel came to us but an innocent virgin. Now he’s taking it up the ass like a good soldier.”

McCoy’s shocked laughter is loud enough to be heard throughout the Medbay and Kirk grins, nods politely to Nurse Chapel when she sticks her head in to see what the hell is going on. Chapel just narrows her eyes at him and walks away. “Damn it, Jim,” McCoy wheezes, wiping his watering eyes. “You are just not right.”

“Hey, you come to my bridge limping, you’re asking for me to say something. And it got me thinking…” He slides over until he’s seated in front of McCoy, puts his feet on edges of McCoy’s chair. “You remember our first time?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” McCoy grumps. “And the door is wide open, Jim, we can’t just -”

“Computer, close and lock the door to the Chief Medical Officer’s office. Emergency override only. Authorization Kirk-Alpha-Alpha-Nine.” The computer chimes its acceptance and slides the doors shut.

“Jim,” McCoy warns.

“Our first time, Bones.” Jim gazes into the air like he’s floating away on a memory. “It seems like it was yesterday.”

Bones eyes him. His face clearly reads, _I know you’re not this stupid_. “It was six years ago.”

“We moved together perfectly as one.”

“You tried to sneak in a finger and I kneed you in the head.”

“It was beautiful. Uplifting. Touched me to the very depths of my soul.”

“When it was over, you freaked out and ran back to your dorm. I didn’t hear from you for three days – don’t give me that face, it’s true!”

Jim pouts, loudly. “Damn it, Bones, I was trying to set the mood here!”

“The mood – oh, for the love of – no, Jim. I have work to do. I have patients and – _hey_!” He slides forward unexpectedly as Jim hooks his heels around the armrests of his chairs and pulls.

“It’s empty out there, Bones.” Kirk pulls off his uniform tops with a flourish, leans back on his elbows and lets his knees relax wide. “You were reading a medical journal when I got here.”

“Damn it, Jim.” Kirk watches as the scowl fights to stay where it is but it’s a losing battle, and he laughs as Bones huffs and whips off his own shirts. “But if someone comes in here…”

“Oh, quit your bitching and get over – _oof!_ ” Strong hands grab his hips and suddenly his back is on the cold desk, the edge pressing against his ass. “Ooh, rough, I like it.”

“You’re a damn menace,” McCoy grouses, but his hands are in Kirk’s pants already, pulling them down and off, so Jim doesn’t take offence.

“You love it,” he says instead.

“God help me, I do,” McCoy sighs. “So how about we show some solidarity with your tactical team and see if we can’t give you a matching limp?”


End file.
